It is what it is AND it doesn’t have to stay this way.
It is what it is and the “it” can be changed.
Here we have an interesting scenario…a seeming dichotomy of what “it” is and the reality that “it” can be changed.
Our situations do not need to remain the same.
However, we often feel the victim of our circumstances, the “it”.
Maybe we inherited “it”, maybe we created it, who knows.
All over the place, I hear things like “this is my lot in life” or “it’s just the way it is”.
People everywhere seem to feel as though the “it” is what we are given and it can never change- they are stuck with that situation, relationship or way of being forever.
Sitting in the frequency of victim mentality, these folks look at their lives as some sort of punishment that they deserve. From that place of low frequency and victimhood, they cannot see that these situations can often serve as catalysts, opportunities to take our personal power back, to rise up, and evolve. We can never do this, however, if we don’t think we deserve better.
These hands we say we are dealt are a way for us to decide we are tired of remaining the same, taking what we’re given as though we deserve nothing better and this is the best life has to offer us.
Those with a victim mindset believe they just have to deal with it as they move along, trying to make the best of a “poor hand that was dealt” to them—life that is not aligned with their hearts and souls and what makes them happy.
Then there's the other side—the side and the truth within this energy that says, “AND you can change this now!”
Most of us will agree that we don't have control over everything in our lives. This is one of the things that teaches us to allow, to go with the flow of life rather than resist.
I’m thankful for this because I know if I thought I DID have control of everything, I’d be spinning out of control trying to STAY IN CONTROL….if that even makes sense!
At the same time, as humans, we often try to either completely let go of the reins as though we're being tossed about like clothes in the dryer or we grip those reigns SO tightly that our knuckles turn white, our breath is held, and the energy, our very life, body and spirit becomes stagnant to the point that it almost solidifies within us.
The other night, I awoke and a current situation in my life popped into my mind. To my delight, I witnessed my higher self immediately say, “and it doesn’t have to stay this way.”
The ego brought up something that I wished had turned out differently, a situation where I had momentarily lamented not having chosen differently to which my higher self or God then responded, “It is what it is”, then continued to say... “and it can change.”
So I'm here to shed light on the fact that there are situations in your life that are there to provoke you to evolve….evolve out of certain relationships, situations, habits, mindsets….
…exhausting cycles that seem as though you're stuck on a hamster wheel you feel you can never get off could be the very thing you need to get you to realize a more aligned version of yourself….
..the roller coaster that just keeps going around and around that maybe was okay when you first got on years ago, but now you're ready to exit and you don't know how.
You can change this part of the equation.
There isn't an “easy” answer, a simple “fix” or a one size fits all solution. The answer will be different for each of us as we are all unique beings with souls here carrying very different purposes.
The one thing that does work for everybody is to put a name on the cycle you are feeling caught in. Name this thing that keeps you going round and round, the situation that keeps recreating itself that you may unconsciously keep recreating or calling in.
What is it? What is the cycle? What is the situation that keeps presenting itself to you over and over and over again that you're tired of, that's burning you out. What is the way of being, the cycle you wish could stop presenting itself?
This situation could actually be seen as a gift to help you evolve.
The first step is identifying the situation and giving it a name.
This is where the going inward becomes paramount for each of us. The answer is going to be a little different. It could stem from our past experiences. It could just be a way that we are seemingly wired. This is where I can help you.
The My Light Heart program can help you go inward to find these parts of yourself, your soul that has been buried for various reasons.
You will start to be able to identify the things that are keeping you stuck in a way of being that is not aligned with your soul. If you feel stuck in a destructive, non-life-giving cycle, you are likely living beneath a heap of conditioning and are operating as your not-self.
All that means is that you aren’t living a life true to your soul’s purpose and heart’s desires. Instead, you are currently operating as your “not-self”….a version of you that follows the beliefs, rules, shoulds, etc. of others that don’t actually match the frequency or truth of your own soul.
These other beliefs, etc. you are following that are not actually your truth is the “conditioning”. It’s honestly part of the human journey. One of my specialties is helping you discover and feel where you might not be living in alignment.
I can gently guide you to find your own authentic way of being. This way of being is aligned with your soul, your essence, your signature truth and frequency. This is the way of being that makes you feel free and light-hearted. A way of being that makes it easier for you to embrace all of life as it comes, not only parts of it. It is actually all here to support us.
In order to do this, we must leave the victim mentality behind.
Once we see and find what it is, maybe the situation that we need to come to terms and be at peace with, we also get to let go of judgement and the tendency to beat ourselves up over it.
This is where we get to not only leave victim mentality behind, we get to be at peace with the situation that keeps presenting itself as a faithful teacher. We can then move inward, to find out, remember and reclaim our power to change the situation.
It is what it is and it can change.
You have so much more power than you are aware of and so much of it you have given away.
I was there, I gave more power away than I even knew I had to give away. I did it in the name of love, being the “best” mom, a wonderful wife, “good” house and financial book keeper, perfect homeschool teacher and “all that jazz.” I burned myself out. I sat in the low frequency of all my shadows and became angry, bitter, resentful and became a drill sergeant instead of the nurturing, loving mama and patient teacher my heart so desired to be.
Unknowingly I gave away my power. I gave it to my children, my church, doctrines that didn’t resonate with me that I felt “should” and volunteering my time and energy where my soul was never meant to be.
We give our power away, especially to our loved ones—those we care the most about. We give it away to “good” things.
Let me be clear on one thing. In most situations in our lives….like those described above, no one steals our power, takes it from us. No, we hand it over. We give it away.
It is time we take our power back so that we can break these cycles of exhaustion and step into joy and light-heartedness.
It's time to identify, accept and move through these cycles.
It is time to leave behind victim mentality and the belief that we have no control over our lives. We can leave behind the belief that “this is just the hand we were dealt” and step into embracing our awareness, our consciousness, our power.
This is what our children need to see modeled for them as they are growing up and stepping out into the world themselves.
You are powerful.
You can change your life.
You can stop the cycle of burnout and step into balance.
If any of this sounds familiar, is resonating with you, book a call with me. This is your heart leading you to step off that hamster wheel, change your way of being, your family tree even.
Book a call now with me so that you can give your heart an opportunity and a sacred space to speak. That is what the call will be providing for you, a quiet moment to allow your heart to speak its desires.
You might be surprised at what your heart is desiring and the path that your soul is longing to step onto and even blaze…..
Written by Kristin A. Culpepper